Freedom in my 40th Year – The Girl Who Danced Under The Moon…

I want to share a story about a little girl and her journey to become the person she is today. Why am I sharing this? Because I hope it will resonate with someone somewhere, or a parent of a similar child. Help them to understand that our oddities can be turned into a life long passion if allowed to blossom.

Lets start at the beginning – The youngest child born in the late 70’s in a small, some would say idyllic, town in Dorset, south west of England.

She grew up with her two sisters, very close to her mum. Most happy with her dog tizzie on her lap. Tizzie was her partner in crime for many years. At the age of 5 she was responsible for her parents having to refuse to buy a house in the country because she saw a man dressed in a black gown staring down at her as she walked into the house. This prompted massive screams and an absolute refusal to step back inside. It transpired that this was an old school.

From that age on wards she saw and felt things in places and picked up on people’s energy, never realising that other people perhaps didn’t feel or see the same.

Her sister Claire made a fairy garden in their front garden and she would spend hours playing with the fairies, seeing sparks of light that she again presumed others saw too.

She had many imaginary friends that used to join her in the coal bunker and up the apple tree keeping her feeling safe and happy and secure. It sometimes became a bit lonely especially when her sisters grew older.

Weekends were spent visiting her Aunties with her mum or granny and granddad with her Dad. In the early years she started to pick up on how people were feeling, she could see her granny was very sad, her heart was missing something and she saw and loved helping her sew, bake and garden as a way of filling that hole.

Sundays were usually spent riding her pony, riding through the village looking into people’s lives through their windows. She always disliked a certain area and always felt her body change when she rode her pony through it. One occasion she fell off her pony whilst cantering in the local woods with her friend Claire. Both of their ponies stopped dead and in the corner of her eye as she fell to the ground she saw an old man with a long grey beard standing by a tree, she would later recognise who this man was, but he had disappeared by the time the girls had managed to remount and canter home.

Sunday nights had a strange feel to them. Sunday lunch was always a real feast cooked predominately by her father if he was at home. She worked up a ferocious appetite having been outside all day. But when she would hear Antiques Road Show theme tune coming on she would feel anxiety start to build back up in her stomach again.

People would describe her as a girl with a big, beautiful smile. Behind that smile she hid a huge amount of anxiety. A mind that never switched off, constantly thinking, worrying about her family, her animals, and how she was accepted at school. She really didn’t enjoy early primary school and suffered huge separation anxiety from her mum. She even made herself ill enough to take a large percentage of one school year off, she spent that with her Granny sewing a patchwork quilt and baking lemon love cake.

She had close boy friends and perhaps found them slightly easier to get on with than girls. She always wished she was as brave as her friends such as Cecilia who would climb the highest tree like a monkey.

She loved being outside so much and playing out there made her feel happy and loved if that makes sense? Like her own little sanctuary. She loved to dig for treasure and spent hours in the local river finding old bottles and pottery.

Animals – she connected with great ease to them. They looked at her and she understood them and they her. Eyes were hugely important and told her a lot. She spent many years trying to save lost souls. A mouse being one of the less fortunate ones… she rescued the mouse after her cat had deposited it on the door mat. She found her old fish tank and made a cosy nest for the mouse to recuperate in. The cat watched and waited to go back for round two, she saw this and in a panic grabbed a brick to place on the top of the fish tank. A few moments later a loud thud was heard and a fat cat was looking slightly guilty at a squashed mouse under the brick!

School made her feel restless and made her mind race. She spent too many hours trying to be the best but spending far too long sky gazing instead. As a teenage she found the added hormones made her feel slightly more uneasy with herself. Often finding herself in situations that she wished she wasn’t especially with boys.

Not sure why but she always felt she wasn’t worth being loved. This may sound odd but for some reason she didn’t love the person she was. In her late teens she found herself in a friend’s bedroom with a local boy’s school boy. She panicked because she had got herself into a situation and realised after drinking nearly a full bottle of 20/20 it wasn’t looking like she was going to get out of it without doing something she really wasn’t ready to do. Because she had agreed to go upstairs with him she felt that is was her fault and therefore she must oblige. Because the boy was from an upper class background she decided she was beneath him.

He told her to undress and to suck him. She said No she began to panic as his tone and body language had become very aggressive. He pinned her down onto the bed and masturbated on top of her. He told her she was a tease, a tart and he walked out of the house. She blamed herself and agreed with him in her mind that she had made it happen. She decided not to speak of this event, to park it somewhere in the recess of her mind. However after this time as her teenage years progressed her hormones became very unstable, and her mood at times very dark. Thoughts of things being better not being on this earth entered her mind briefly. At this time her mum brought her to their GP and she was prescribed what was then a new drug Prozac. 

Horses really took over her life around this time. She enjoyed being with them and their energy was very replenishing to her heart. But she knew they weren’t her destiny. Career advisers didn’t quite understand she didn’t get excited about the university courses that they recommended she take. She came from a family who instilled a strong work ethic and she loved making her own money.

She desperately wanted to do something that ignited her passion that lay deep in her heart. She didn’t yearn for university life. She loved her sleep and had got bored of drinking too much. Eventually she applied to do an Equine and Agricultural Business Degree, but asked if she could take a year out beforehand.

This was the year that would change her life. She worked as a nanny for a family in a lovely farmhouse in Hampshire. She can still remember the look of horror on the mother’s face when she rocked up in her red Yugo! Her job was the look after two small boys, ride horses and clean the house.

Her diet was appalling and consisted of white bread, diet coke, mars bars and menthol cigarettes. She thought she was incredibly sophisticated because the beautiful mother of the boys smoked them and she looked very glamorous doing it!

She was given the book The Celestial Prophecy around the time of her 19th Birthday. As soon as she began reading it things starting to make sense. A week later she did her Reiki 1 attunement. As she read the book and did her attunement she understood that all the auras, orbs and energy she felt and saw were real. At last she was starting to make some sense of it all. During her clearing after Reiki 2 attunement her body began to change, she lost over a stone in weight and she no longer wanted to drink coke, eat sugar etc. Her emotional state began to balance out and her self-worth finally started to grow. During this time she started to take great interest in the work the lady whose children she was minding was doing. This lady was a wonderful healer and she watched her work her magic on people. She decided to change her career choice and went to train as a massage therapist, and an aromatherapist. 

Her sister bought her a crystal and she felt an instant energy connection as if she had come home.

She moved to Melton Mowbray and got a job in Ragdale Hall Health Hydro. This was probably the making of her as a business woman massaging up to 10 people a day. Ragdale Hall developed a treatment called Chakra Journey. As only one of the two Reiki Practitioners in the Hall it was her job to do this treatment. She was taught how to use the machine but at 20 years old she was a little out of her depth. No one had taught her how to protect her own energy or how to process what she was getting from the person receiving the treatment.

One of her first chakra journey treatments was on a lady in her 30’s, all of a sudden another lady appeared in her minds eye. She stood watching what was her daughter “Please tell her to stop smoking”. She ignored her the voice and blamed the jacket potato and cheese she scoffed for her lunch. The older lady appeared again this time making her presence known with a repeated request that her daughter was to give up smoking. She finally plucked up the courage to repeat the message to the ladies daughter. On receiving the message the lady broke down. She took great comfort in feeling her mothers presence during the session and knew she had to give up.

She studied Acupuncture and knew straight away this was absolutely the right path for her. Suddenly learning 1000’s of acupuncture points and all the incredible knowledge was a pure pleasure to learn and take in fully. Finally after years of finding it really impossible to remember anything taught to her it flowed in and stayed there.

In her 20’s whilst studying Chinese Medicine she broke her foot, and her back. Around this time her energy changed and she was unable to see orbs/auras until she relocated herself to Tipperary, Ireland.

After Graduating and travelling to Shanghai she knew this was her calling for some reason though she decided to leave the other energy work behind. She felt almost embarrassed by it. It took her 15 years to realise that combining Chinese Medicine and all the other components of healing she had discovered along the way created the most incredible healing space for people. It no longer mattered to her as she entered her 40th year on this earth what people thought. She treated people with compassion, always with love. People could come for regular acupuncture, others would choose to try adding crystals alongside the needles and benefit hugely from the added healing energy given.

Going to France on her 40th Birthday and meeting incredible like-minded people reassured her that everything finally made sense, it all began to click. Teaching groups of people about crystals, chakras and meditation became another passion.

Finally having come home from France during a dream filled night the potions she had always been creating in her clinic where shown to her with crystal clarity. A new business called Essence in Alchemy was born. Combining the power of plants and crystals together. A childhood interest manifesting at the perfect time. 2020 will be an incredible year! 

She was eternally grateful for her parents for letting her be her true self. Especially her father, an atheist who found her talk of angels, dragons, unicorns and fairies all far too much. However he always called her for advice when he was sick!

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